Award-Winning Book

Bring Out the Best

Family life becomes so much easier and more rewarding when parents learn how to create an environment of mutual respect. In this proven program, developed over twenty-five years, parents discover that beneath the surface children and teens want to be cooperative, independent, and responsible. They also want to develop grit, gain resilience, and relate more kindly with siblings and friends. Knowing this, we can view their difficult behavior as a cry for help: “Help me find a more effective way to meet my legitimate needs.”

This landmark book offers parents the tools they need to help their children and teens become the young people they truly want to be. As parents and children gain trust that they’re on the same team, everything changes.

Throughout the book, Dr. Val-Essen supports readers with compassion, insight, real-life stories, and humorous illustrations as she guides them in developing the skills they need to remain calm and centered more often, to prevent problems before they happen, and to create a truly fulfilling family experience.

  • How to recognize and encourage the best within your child or teen
  • Why negative behavior is actually a cry for help: “Help me find a better way to meet my needs.”
  • Why children and teens really want you to set limits, even when they resist
  • How to envision the family you want — and then create it, day by day
  • Why all parents “lose it” at times — and how to remain calm and centered under stress.
An Unexpected Bonus
As we learn how to recognize and encourage the best within our children and teens, we inevitably discover the best within ourselves.
Fun Parents' Drawings
How we see ourselves when we “lose it”!
Sarcastic Sam
Bossy Betty
Preachy Paul
A rare book of exeptional wisdom. Parents will want to read it again and again.
Barbara Emmanuel
Executive Director,
La Leche League
The title of the book really captures the spirit and strength of this guide for parenting.
Joan B
Medical Doctor
and mother of two
Powerful ...
every parent will benefit from the book.
Dr. Dorothy Firman
Co-author of
Chicken Soup for the
Mother and
Daughter Soul
Buy Bring Out the Best
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Parenting with
Wisdom and Compassion

Imagine a new paradigm of parenting that dramatically changes the way we relate to our children. Doors open that were previously closed, freeing us to parent with a wiser and more compassionate heart. Dr. Val-Essen reveals a new vision of the parent-child relationship and provides a Six-Step Process to help us realize it.

Powerful stories, proven skills, and practical exercises inspire and guide us to expand our minds and open our hearts. As we gain a deeper understanding of our children and ourselves, we're able to parent with wisdom and compassion even when buttons are pushed and fear takes center stage. Children and parents flourish. Family life becomes deeply rewarding.

You'll Learn to
  • Develop the intuition.
    You’ll be able to recognize the messages hidden within the ordinary cues your children give you daily.
  • Strengthen family bonds through creative problem solving.
    Trust grows when you’re committed to finding solutions that meet everyone’s needs.
  • Transform painful conflicts into opportunities for growth.
    When you value relationship with your children more than your upset, you’ll find unexpected possibilities for genuine understanding and healing.
  • Embrace the power of acceptance as a catalyst for change.
    Acceptance provides emotional safety, the ideal environment for your children to flourish and mature.
  • Love unconditionally.
    As you learn to practice forgiveness, you’ll be able to give the ultimate form of love.
An Unexpected Bonus
As you become more accepting and inclusive, as you share your hearts more fully with your family and friends, you’ll deepen your understanding of what it means to live a wise and compassionate life.
Dr. Val-Essen has her finger on the pulse of what steps we can take to raise the next generation to be more conscious and loving.
Mayim Bialik
Beyond the Sling
These principles and practices help us not only be better parents, but better people.
Abby Seixas
Finding the Deep
River Within
This book will lovingly guide you on a journey of self-exploration. I highly recommend that you
add it to your parenting resources.
Francine C. Beauvoir, PhD
Cooperative and