Nurture Your Relationship

August 17, 2021

What could possibly be better than chocolate for Valentine’s Day?

Maybe the answer can be found in the Children’s Ten Commandments for Mom and Dad. They were written many years ago when I consulted with my son and his friends, who were nine years old at the time. We came up with a practical, plain speak document—the innocent wisdom of youth. You can find the Children’s Ten Commandments here.

This Valentine’s Day blog is about Commandment #3, which tells us to Be Happy.

Children want happy parents because:

  • Happy parents fight less. We hate screaming.
  • Happy parents smile more. We feel safe.
  • Happy parents are more fun and affectionate. We feel loved

Happy parents are better parents! When our hearts are full, we have more to give.

How Can We Be Happier Parents?

It’s Valentine’s Day. You know the most obvious ways to give each other the gift of love! I’ll offer a less glamorous tip, but one that has a proven record over the years.

  • Give special attention to the things your spouse cares about.
An Inspiring Story

When a couple in my practice shared that they wanted to feel more spark in their relationship, I suggested that they might connect by spending time engaged in each other’s hobbies.
The wife picked up on the idea quickly:

My husband’s passion is photography. I asked him to find links to his favorite photographers. Then I suggested that when we have a free evening, instead of watching TV, we’d sit together discussing and admiring the photographers' work. I hoped that he’d recognize how much I appreciated his vast knowledge and his keen aesthetic eye.

After an evening admiring Steve McCurry’s photos from India, my husband revealed, “I know you love me, but tonight I really feel it.”

A Family Affair

A few days later, this man I often call Mr. Reserve said casually, “I want to get closer to Devon.” The very next week when I was at a meeting, he took our four year old to the park. Hours later, they came home aglow. My husband announced, “I had a magical time with Devon, probably the best ever.” Did his deeper connection with our youngest son have anything to do with our renewed closeness? I think so!

A Gift That Keeps On Giving

Mother Teresa has a simple formula we all can follow:

  • Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love.

We’d love to hear your thoughts and stories—to smile with you—and to be inspired by you. Please post your comments on our Facebook Page. If you feel so inclined, you can make my Valentine’s Day birthday even happier, by giving the gift of a LIKE to the Facebook Page.